thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
