words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
