Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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