Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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