Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Farmville is her only friend.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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