Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
