Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
