I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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