Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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