in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize