I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
