He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
