I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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