hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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