1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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