i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
