Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize