Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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