i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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