He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
