But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Randomize
