Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's shark week go big or go home
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
