i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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