Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
