It's like God shit irony all over that family
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm always down for nudity.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
