What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
