I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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