Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize