Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
