He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
