I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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