On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
