My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize