As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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