Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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