I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
