Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I had to cum in my sink.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize