I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
PANTIES FOUND
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