smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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