I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
God gave him joint rollers for hands
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
