I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
