Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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