do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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