im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
