The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
where does the pee come out of this thing
I am full of burrito and curiosity
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
