Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
