actually, I'm a sock model
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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