He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
