She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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