At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
