Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
