i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
