I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
