Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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