im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
