I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
