love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
