I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
