My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
