She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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