I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
