She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
