My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
