help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We are two peas in an std pod
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize