Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize