He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
